Sad...

The conversation I had with my Bubba before he left for work is breaking my heart. Words are not enough to express how sad and empty I feel at the moment. But I acknowledge that it was my fault. Even though he never blames me, I blame myself for it.

When he is being cold and distant, it's really killing me. But how can I even complain when it's me who's not doing it right.

What he told me marks the beginning of the end. I hope I can win his love back. With all the things happening in my life, I feel like I am sabotaging my own happiness. I hope not this one because he is all I need.

It's So Hot!

The weather is driving me nuts. It's so hot that I can no longer count how many times I take a shower in one day. It was raining cats and dogs this afternoon. But when the rain stopped, I don't know why I'm sweating like a pig. I had been drinking liters and liters of ice cold water.

When it's this hot, I find it hard to get a good sleep. Aiya! I just hate the weather today. But there's nothing I can really do about it. If only I can fly to Arctic Region and maybe play with some penguins. :)

I'm the Apple of His Eye

I'm the apple of his eye. I am aware of that that but it feels so good whenever I hear it straight from him. My Bubba makes me feel that I am the most special and the most beautiful in the whole wide world. (Is love really that blind?)

Sometimes it makes me wonder what he really saw in me. I'm not that special. Most of time, I'm crazy and emotional. I always always keep him waiting. I'm such a sleepy head. I can be stubborn. I am far from perfect but he thinks I am. I guess that's what real love is. Loving the other person unconditionally and accepting his or her imperfections.

I love you too Bubba, unconditionally.

Chloe Sevigny

Chloe Sevigny plays the role of Nicolette "Nicki" Grant on the fictional HBO television series Big Love. She may dress up conservatively (meaning boring) on Big Love, but Chloe is so damn fashionable. She was actually a former model.

Here's a trivia about Chloe:

During the early 90's, author Jay McInerney saw her around New York City and wrote a seven-page article about her for The New Yorker, in which he dubbed her the new "it-girl".

Waiting for the new season of Big Love....

:)

My Little Brother's Birthday

Today is my little brother's birthday. He is three years younger than me. What's the thing that I like most about him? Little things easily makes him smile. It's so easy to make him happy. A trip to the mall makes him really excited. lol

Another thing that I love about him is that he listens to me. Haha I sound so selfish. That's the reason why my Bubba thinks I am such a pain in the ass.

I haven't been writing much about me and my Bubba because it seems that... I don't know how to say it. I'm just sad. Aiya! Even if I am very emotional, it's hard for me to articulate my feelings.

I have to organize my thoughts first. Sometimes, I just want to stop thinking.